On Debtors

One thing about me is that I hate chasing after people who owe me money or borrowed anything of mine. I mean I really really REALLY hate it. For one, it's an exercise in futility for the most part. It has been my experience that people who don't want to pay up or return my stuff are surprisingly good at hiding. Calls and texts go unanswered. A visit to their house reveals they never lived there or did but moved out. Online stalking can only yield so much information. Being a guerrilla or an illegal immigrant could be great alternative career options for these people.

Secondly, the emotional toll that it takes on me is high. I feel so degraded, chasing someone for something that is mine. I guess this must be how a wife who loves her husband feels like when said husband has an affair. At the same time, I am filled with indignation; what is mine is mine, and should be mine. In the background, like pesky static, is guilt. Guilt that I am thinking ill of the debtor when he/she could have a legitimate reason for keeping what's mine. Maybe a relative fell ill. Maybe it's for someone's education. Or to pay off another debt. See? So many feelings.

Lastly, I believe in the power of karma. Yes, I'm born Catholic, but I still believe that what goes around, comes around. It may not be now, but sooner or later, I believe And I still believe that these are only material things; I will earn them back. It's not so with the debtor, though. It always turns out to be a very expensive lesson, but I'd rather that the debtor is not in my life anymore than let him/her stay and screw me over.

So where does that leave me? Well, obviously unpaid and unsatisfied, but at the same time with a clean conscience and one less negative person in my life. All in all, not a bad outcome.